Sunday, September 21, 2014

MEAT & OKRA & MEETIN OPRAH! (Food Network? O.W.N.? Get A Pencil.)

MEAT & OKRA & MEETIN OPRAH! - Mary Birdsong - Mary Birdsong

Here’s my genius pitch for the FOOD NETWORK (or O.W.N. - not sure which).  Maybe it’ll be one of those new-fangled shows that are simulcast on two channels at once! 
Okay, so the concept is simple- Every episode, a Southern lady would makes a dish that includes  meat, and a mushy, slimy vegetable that creeps me out (aka OKRA). Then Oprah comes out and eats it. Come on- it writes itself! 
Seriously, I really do hate okra, unless it’s in a gumbo or something, but this  recipe for Ground Beef Chili with Stir-Fried Okra actually looks pretty good, and is very healthy. 
This nice lady at seems to like okra a lot, so maybe I should re-think…

…those slimy little sci-fi lookin’ green sumbitches!  Aaaaaghhhhhh!!!!! 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Whaddya Get When You Cross American Relief Aid (i.e. "weed") With Persecuted Yazidis in Iraq?

Okay, let's get this over with.  I need this awful joke/pun out of my system, for which I will probably be doomed to eternal hellfire.

"What do you get when the US military airlifts tons of Jamaican weed to the Yazidi people in the mountains of Iraq?"


(I'm sorry.  I'm just...  I'm just so sorry.)


What a gorgeous photo of Yazidis. (Taken by Rob Leutheuser)


And what a gorgeous photo of Baked Ziti! (Not taken by Rob Leutheuser)

I do not envy the plight of the Yazidis. Persecuted by the "IS" (aka ISIS) in Iraq, they're being forced to (literally) "run for the hills," facing starvation & death. There is much confusion surrounding this people that no one (myself included) ever heard of until a couple of days ago. Many people of competing faiths in the region believe the Yazidi religion is "devil worship." To add to the confusion, it incorporates many elements from both Christianity and Islam. Wikipedia says it's linked to Zoroastrianism (although these days, even Wikipedia can't be counted on for things of the true-ish nature.  And I admit I get a juvenile rush of delight when they are taken to task on some falsehood.

When Wiki wrong? I be all like, "Ooooh, snap! You so stupid, Wiki!" And then Wiki, he be all like "Awwww, nahh!!  Oops! My bad!"

My hero: Rachel Jeantel. I summon her spirit whenever I have to bring a snooty white dude down a notch or two. Okrrr, "SIR?!"

Thankfully, what started out as an obsessive need to scratch that "pun itch" led me to actually learn a few things, most of which was gleaned from a fascinating article on the mysterious religion.  Now I feel like a smarty-pants.  And you can too... Okrrrrr?  


True or Cray?

1) The Yazidis are devil worshippers!

2) The Yazidi religion is linked to Zoroastrianism

3) They pray to a peacock five times a day...

4) Because they worship the NBC television network

5)  Alison Moyet, the lead singer of 80's synth-pop group "Yaz" (or "Yazoo" for all you Brits)  recorded their first album in a Kurdish cave with several high -ranking Yazidi elders on woodblock, large rusted pot, & harp.

To learn the correct answers, you'll have to click HERE,  (a genuinely fascinating article by Diana Darke).

I wanted to do that cool thing they used to do in Highlights Magazine:
where they'd print the True/False answers upside down in tiny print at the bottom of the page, but I can't type for SHIT when I'm standing on my head.

Workin' on it, though.  Oh,  yeah... I'm workin' on it, all right.  Heh heh...

[Note: I have no idea what I was trying to insinuate with that last comment.    Something sexual, maybe?  Was that sexy when I did that?  The laugh at the end and everything?   I dunno.  Your call. Feedback welcomed.  (But not really.)]