Friday, June 27, 2014

In A Town Obsessed With Awards-- Platinum® Bathroom Tissue Gives TP TLC!

It's not every day I wanna wipe my face with the toilet paper I've just wiped my ass with. But when I DO... 
"Platinum®: The 'Facial 
Quality' Bathroom Tissue." 
Who says show biz ain't glamorous? This was the bathroom tissue provided in the stall at an audition I went to for a TV show.  A really GOOD tv show at that! (It was cable, not network.. natch!)  And to be honest, since "Platinum" had the consistency of a well-done piece of dry toast, I shudder to think what their "economy" version feels like.
Still, as far as ego-stroking bathroom tissue brand names go, this one was pretty good.  The only other brand of bathroom tissue I've encountered that beats "Platinum" has to be: 

I think it says a lot about our culture's desperate need for positive feedback. But I'll admit... I'm only human. A human who desperately needs some positive feedback.  A human doing what humans do, in a bathroom stall, trying my best. With all the insecurities of the next stall over. So sure... I WOULD enjoy a standing ovation the next time I'm on the crapper. Maybe we could all use a little TP TLC now and then. — with Mary Birdsong at The Lot Studios.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Let There Be Peeps On Earth! (The Happy Easter Jesus Song) by 99 Cent Whore

LET THERE B PEEPS ON EARTH! - In this traditional "Happy Easter Jesus Song," the 99 Cent Whore sings about how she wishes she could've been there to give Jesus a chocolate easter bunny when he was on the cross  (a SOLID bunny, too- not some cheap piece-o-crap HOLLOW bunny)!