Monday, August 11, 2014

Whaddya Get When You Cross American Relief Aid (i.e. "weed") With Persecuted Yazidis in Iraq?

Okay, let's get this over with.  I need this awful joke/pun out of my system, for which I will probably be doomed to eternal hellfire.

"What do you get when the US military airlifts tons of Jamaican weed to the Yazidi people in the mountains of Iraq?"


(I'm sorry.  I'm just...  I'm just so sorry.)


What a gorgeous photo of Yazidis. (Taken by Rob Leutheuser)


And what a gorgeous photo of Baked Ziti! (Not taken by Rob Leutheuser)

I do not envy the plight of the Yazidis. Persecuted by the "IS" (aka ISIS) in Iraq, they're being forced to (literally) "run for the hills," facing starvation & death. There is much confusion surrounding this people that no one (myself included) ever heard of until a couple of days ago. Many people of competing faiths in the region believe the Yazidi religion is "devil worship." To add to the confusion, it incorporates many elements from both Christianity and Islam. Wikipedia says it's linked to Zoroastrianism (although these days, even Wikipedia can't be counted on for things of the true-ish nature.  And I admit I get a juvenile rush of delight when they are taken to task on some falsehood.

When Wiki wrong? I be all like, "Ooooh, snap! You so stupid, Wiki!" And then Wiki, he be all like "Awwww, nahh!!  Oops! My bad!"

My hero: Rachel Jeantel. I summon her spirit whenever I have to bring a snooty white dude down a notch or two. Okrrr, "SIR?!"

Thankfully, what started out as an obsessive need to scratch that "pun itch" led me to actually learn a few things, most of which was gleaned from a fascinating article on the mysterious religion.  Now I feel like a smarty-pants.  And you can too... Okrrrrr?  


True or Cray?

1) The Yazidis are devil worshippers!

2) The Yazidi religion is linked to Zoroastrianism

3) They pray to a peacock five times a day...

4) Because they worship the NBC television network

5)  Alison Moyet, the lead singer of 80's synth-pop group "Yaz" (or "Yazoo" for all you Brits)  recorded their first album in a Kurdish cave with several high -ranking Yazidi elders on woodblock, large rusted pot, & harp.

To learn the correct answers, you'll have to click HERE,  (a genuinely fascinating article by Diana Darke).

I wanted to do that cool thing they used to do in Highlights Magazine:
where they'd print the True/False answers upside down in tiny print at the bottom of the page, but I can't type for SHIT when I'm standing on my head.

Workin' on it, though.  Oh,  yeah... I'm workin' on it, all right.  Heh heh...

[Note: I have no idea what I was trying to insinuate with that last comment.    Something sexual, maybe?  Was that sexy when I did that?  The laugh at the end and everything?   I dunno.  Your call. Feedback welcomed.  (But not really.)]

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, And That Guy Who Miiiiiight Have the Ebola

Why is America so super chill about people being brought onto US soil from Ebola-riddled areas in Africa (who could possibly spread the deadly virus here), yet is all freaky-pants cray-cray when we’re asked to give refuge to a bunch of little Latin American kids fleeing crack dealers (who stalk them in the school system and will rape them if they don’t sell drugs)? I don’t get it.  But maybe that’s why myyyyyy face isn’t the one gracing Lady Liberty’s smoking’ hot bod in New York Harbor. Of course- I think we SHOULD grant entry in both cases, but it just strikes me as funny how, as a country, American histrionics aren’t consistent when it comes to our borders and who we let cross them.  It’s just the Mexican* thing that gets our citizens (and our statues) literally up in arms.
I think it's because illegal crossing of the Mexican border is so easy to understand.  It's easy to visualize school bus after school bus vomiting out streams of little illegal immigrant invaders-- diaper-clad drug lords sucking on their juice boxes and waving their M-16s.  But it's much more difficult to imagine some virus running around taking our jobs.
* The latest hot-button "border bunch" isn't technically from Mexico, of course. They're from other countries that are kinda LIKE Mexico.  They're Mexic-ish: Ya got yer Honduras, yer Guatemala, yer... uh...  awlla doze guys.  Places like 'at. We're American, and we don't really care.   So let's just call them Mexican.

Note: This article appears in it's original (ebola-free!) form on my main blog. No difference really in this post from that one, so... YA know. Why bother, right?  

Well, except for there's that nudie pic of me and that girl from Hooters in the original post. Whatever. Your call**.  Here's the link:

** Kidding!!!! (Probably)